不敢相信！骗了我们很久的东西

　　闲来无聊，翻译一篇个人觉得挺有意思的文章，The 10 Biggest Misconceptions We Learn In School，纯属有趣。原文稍有改动。（原文附后）

一、爱因斯坦学习成绩很差

　　嗯…你知道爱因斯坦这家伙吧? 著名的物理学家? 相对论的作者? 甚至，一个天才? 我完全相信小爱因斯坦能够轻松完成他的小学四年级数学题，是的，和传统的说法相反，爱因斯坦在小学时是一个尖子生，拿了许多的4分，而不是许多愚蠢的美国人后来任务的差生。（事实上，那是由于对记分制的错误解释。阿隆州立学校的材料可以纠正这种错误。当时记成绩是6分制，1分最好，6分最差。可是，后来发生了变化，6分成了最好的成绩。Syna注）

　　之所以坚持这个说法，是因为大家都喜欢这个故事，这样他们的差生就可以同样取得伟大的成就，但是对不起，可怜的父母们，爱因斯坦在12岁的时候就自学微积分了。

　　下面是后来公布的爱因斯坦的成绩单之一。

二、老鼠喜欢奶酪

　　为什么老鼠喜欢奶酪? 奶制品并不是自然界本来就有的食物，不是吗？不，老鼠非常喜欢花生酱、麦片等食物，经过近百万年的进化，它们已经习惯了这类类似于种子的食物。事实上，一些老鼠甚至对乳糖过敏，吃奶酪将会使他们丧命。简而言之：罪魁祸首在该死的动画片——《猫和老鼠》。

（老鼠真正喜欢麦片、花生、葵花籽等种子类食物，Syna注）

三、拿破仑是个矮个子

　　错，拿破仑身高5法尺2法寸，在当时的法国属于中等身材，我不确定他是不是对自己的身高感到不满意，但没有迹象证明他是新泽西“矮个子综合症”的模范和来源，混淆的原因来源于英国和法国关于“寸”的长度的差异（British ‘inch’ & French ‘pouce’），过去英国人认为拿破仑只有5英尺2英寸，那只不过是一种宣传工具和自娱自乐的方式罢了。

（拿破仑身高法制5尺2寸，合1米68。1米58是误用英制折出的。说工业革命前，英国男人平均身高不超过1.7米，因此当时拿破仑的身高在欧洲也不算低了。Syna注）

四、爱迪生发明了电灯泡

　　爱迪生是一个聪明绝顶的人，但他并没有发明电灯泡——在他开始尝试这个项目的时候，已经有人，比如约瑟·斯旺等开始着手做这件事了。爱迪生只是发明了第一只能用于商业用途的电灯泡，爱迪生之所以出名，是因为他购买了约瑟·斯旺等人的研究专利，随后又同他合作避免了诉诸法庭的纠纷。（爱迪生的几个设计方案已由更早的发明者提出了，包括他从亨利·伍德沃德、马修·伊凡斯、摩西·G·法马、约瑟·斯旺、詹姆斯·堡文·连特西、威廉·索亚、汉弗里·戴维和亨利·高堡购买的专利。但是这些发明者的产品都有些缺点，像使用寿命极短、生产费用高等，仅适合来满足实验室测试。爱迪生应用了碳化的纤维细丝作为发光材料，大大延长了灯泡寿命。Syna注）

五、旅鼠集体跳崖

　　什么，旅鼠是弱智吗? 是的，大规模自杀听起来像一个精彩的物种进化论故事，用以确保其继续生存。但是，旅鼠并没有做这样的事，除非偶尔他们在单身俱乐部喝醉酒了。这个伟大的误解始作俑者不是别人，正是迪士尼，他们拍摄了一部早期电影《白色旷野》，大肆宣传旅鼠大规模走上悬崖集体自杀，他们成功了，但也造就了这一胡说的理论。

（迪斯尼在1958年拍摄的纪录片《白色荒野》中，就纪录了旅鼠成群结队地迁徙、最终跳海自杀的场面，配上了非常煽情的解说。这部奥斯卡获奖影片影响深远，使旅鼠奔赴死亡之约的动人传说在西方家喻户晓。不过那部纪录片的场面是伪造出来的。那部影片是在加拿大的阿尔伯达省拍摄的，那个地区并不产旅鼠。摄影组到北极地区向因纽特小孩买了几十只旅鼠，让它们在一个覆盖着雪的转盘上奔跑，从各个角度拍摄，剪辑后就出现了成千上万只旅鼠大迁移的情景。之后，摄影组把这些旅鼠带到悬崖上，希望拍摄它们跳下悬崖河中淹死的场面。不料旅鼠却不愿往下跳，在等了两天之后，不耐烦的摄影组把这些旅鼠赶下了悬崖，人为制造了跳海自杀。Syna注）

六、不同半球厕所冲水旋转方向不同

　　厕所冲的水并不因为你所在的半球不同而朝相反的方向旋转，水始终朝同一个方向旋转，除非你是处于飓风的正中央。

七、人类从猿进化而来

　　无论是达尔文还是其他著名的进化论专家，都没有说人类是由黑猩猩、大猩猩或者其他现存的猿类进化而来（当然更不是从哪些愤怒的蓝屁股猴子进化而来），他们仅仅推断猴子和人类都是从数百万年前就已经灭绝的共同祖先进化而来，某些史前穴居人生下的聪明婴儿最终进化成人类，而哪些智障婴儿最终进化成猿类。

八、维京人长着角

　　维京人（北欧海盗）长着角。这一条尤其伤害我，事实上，这个标题应该写成“维京人戴着有角的头盔”，除非你觉得维京人的头上真的能长出角来，当然欧丁神（北欧神话人物）有这种可能。但是在任何情况下，即使是在维京人的头饰里也没有发现有伸出来的角，也没有在海盗帽子和头盔中发现有突起的部分。

九、哥伦布认为地球是平的

　　早在公元前240年，埃拉脱色尼（公元前三世界希腊数学家、天文学家和地理学家，Syna注）就猜测地球可能是圆的——在当时绝大多数人都固执地认为地球像一个盆子，如果你一直向前走接近地球的边缘就会掉下去，因此直到1492年哥伦布环游地球之前，大家才知道他们是在同一个球状的地球打交道。哥伦布对这个球的尺寸有点迷惑，所以，他将加勒比地区当成印度。

十、舌头的不同部位品尝出不同的味道

　　什么？你的小学健康课欺骗了你吗？事实证明，舌头上各个地方的味蕾都能尝出各种不同的味道，尽管对有些人来说，不同地方的味蕾敏感度不同。

原文：

The 10 Biggest Misconceptions We Learn In School

By Paul Jury on October 13, 2009
　　I do some teaching, and my kids are constantly turning in essays with tragically inaccurate examples, like “When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb…” or “Even Einstein got bad grades in school…” which society has for some reason decided to convince them are true. Actually, my kids are turning in examples more like “When Edison invented the atomic bomb…” or “When Ben Franklin signed the Magna Carta…” but that’s mostly just a function of my kids being morons.
　　Anyway, yes, I said inaccurate, because those two statements – and many more like them – are classic instances of egregious common misconceptions. I’ll admit: before I started looking into it, I thought these were true, too. So in an effort to straighten things out – and also get to make fun of history – here comes the truth about 10 of the most widely believed misconceptions out there.

1. Einstein got bad grades in school

　　Um… have you heard about this guy Einstein? Famous physicist? Relativity and all that? A genius, even? I’m pretty sure little Albert could handle his business in 4th grade arithmetic. Yes, contrary to popular belief, Einstein was a top student in elementary school, getting mostly “4″s (on the German grading scale of 1-4), which idiot Americans later assumed, backwardly, were “D”s. The idea stuck because everybody loves the idea that their poor student can go on to great things. Sorry, parents, Einstein was teaching himself calculus at age 12. Your little lip-twiddling retard will be working at Hardee’s.

2. Mice like cheese

　　Why would mice like cheese? Processed cow milk is not exactly available to them in their natural habitat, is it? No, mice MUCH prefer peanut butter, breakfast cereals, and other things similar to the grains and seeds they’ve gotten used to over millions of years of evolution. In fact, some mice are even lactose intolerant and will die if they eat cheese. In short: f–k you, Tom and Jerry.

3. Napoleon was short

　　Nope. Napoloean was 5′7″, average height for a Frenchmen of the time. I don’t think he was particularly angry either, though we seem to have no trouble citing him as both the paragon and origin of the “short man’s syndrome” so common at New Jersey nightclubs. The confusion came from the difference between the British inch and the French ‘pouce’, which was longer, and made Brits think Napolean was only around 5′3″, a misconception which British propaganda was only happy to propagate.

4. Thomas Edison Invented the Light Bulb

　　Edison was a smart mother f–ker, but he didn’t invent the light bulb – somebody else had already done that by the time he started fiddling with the idea. Edison did, however, invent the first light bulb that actually worked well, at the same time as another guy, Joseph Swan. Edison got to be famous for it though, because he beat Swan in ro-sham-bo, and then bitch-slapped him.

5. Lemmings Throw Themselves Over Cliffs

　　What, are lemmings retarded? Yes, mass suicide sounds like a wonderful evolutionary trait to have built into your species to ensure its survival. Lemmings do no such thing, except occasionally when they’re drunk at bachelor parties. This great misconception was perpetrated by none other than Disney, who, in all their evil, decided their early nature film “White Wilderness” would be much more awesome if it showed a bunch of rodents flinging themselves off cliffs. They were correct, of course, but that doesn’t make this “phenomenon” any less B.S.

6. Water Flushes Differently in Different Hemispheres

　　Toilet water doesn’t flush a specific direction depending on what hemisphere you’re in. Water flushes the same way, unless you’re in the middle of certain huge hurricanes, or if you crank it really hard with a dingy oar like we used to with our toilet water back in Minnesota.

7. Humans Evolved From Apes

　　Neither Charles Darwin nor any reputable evolutionist ever said that humans evolved from chimpanzees or gorillas or any other ape alive today (and certainly not those angry monkeys with those blue asses. They simply claim that monkeys and humans both evolved from a common ancestor that died out millions of years ago. You know, some sort of primitive monkey-caveman creature that had some smart babies that eventually became human, and some dumb-ass babies that eventually became apes.

8. Vikings Had Horns

　　This one hurts me ’specially. Actually, the title should read “Vikings Wore Helmets With Horns,” unless you think Vikings’ skulls actually had horns protruding from them, which I wish to sweet Odin was the case. But in any event, no, even Viking headwear didn’t sport horns – not a single Viking helmet has ever been found with anything jutting out of it. Besides awesomeness, of course.

9. Columbus believed the Earth was flat

　　People have suspected that the Earth might be round since as early as Eratosthenes in 240 B.C. – it was mostly just a bunch of dogmatic nut-jobs who continued to insist that the Earth was a birdbath you could fall off of if you sailed too close to the edge. So by the time Columbus rolled around in 1492, pretty much everybody knew they were dealing with a sphere, Chris included. He did get a little confused about the size of the sphere, though, which is why he thought the Caribbean was India, leading to the whole dot vs. feather issue today.

10. Different parts of the tongue detect different tastes.

　　What, your elementary school health class lied to you? Turns out, taste buds on all parts of your tongue can detect all different tastes, though there are slightly increased sensitivities in different areas for some people. Want proof? Try dipping the dip of your tongue into some coffee grounds and see if you can taste the bitter. As my great uncle Ralph, who lost half his tongue in ‘Nam, used to say, “Hrm rmrng rmhrm mrhng!”, which translates to “I don’t need the front half of my tongue to taste your aunt Gladys’s sweet ass!”